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What's love got to do with it? (Solo/plot)

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1 What's love got to do with it? (Solo/plot) on Mon Mar 14, 2016 1:38 am

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Raziel sat in her bed curled up into a ball with her knees up to her chest. Between her legs and torso she  squeezed a pillow. She had taken the day off feigning sickness so that she didn't have to try to face people today. In the state she was in she wasn't sure she could keep up her usual though exterior. Inside of her emotions swirled and mixed in a deadly storm. She wanted to go find Jessica right now and kiss her right on the lips, she wanted to go find something very large and though then destroy it with her bear hands, she wanted to disappear into nothingness.

For now all she did was bury her face in the pillow sobbing uncontrollably. Why did this have to happen, had it not been for that stupid kiss she might have been able to push back her feelings and make them go away. But now... now she liked, had a crush on even, Jessica. Hell, it sounded like some stupid high school romance. Why did this have to keep happening to her, she already knew the outcome. Jessica would reject her, their relationship would be destroyed and Raziel would feel that all to familiar heartbreak once again.

And what's worse, they were both girls. It felt wrong to be in love with another girl. A small voice in the back of her head told her it was okay, but everything else said that it was, taboo. People would give her nasty looks, and then call her mean things, and she wouldn't be able to go anywhere without being called “that lesbian fox.” Raziel continued to sob into her pillow.

obvious mood music:

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Time was of little importance right now. Raziel could have only been there for a few minutes or maybe several hours. That was not even on the list of things that were on her mind. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't stop feeling the way she did, about Jessica, about herself, about everything. Nor could she stop the tears. By now the pillow was soaked in them but she didn't care. Her sobs began to die out and were suddenly cut off as she screamed as loud as she could into the pillow. For a few seconds after she sat only breathing, hard. The tears continued and as did her sobs.


One of the many feelings tearing about her became more obvious. Anger perhaps... no stronger than that... hatred. But for what? The answer was not far behind. Hatred for herself, for the stupid emotions that kept forcing her to do what she didn't want to. She didn't like that either. She didn't want to hate herself, but she did. After all she was just an evil, murdering, lesbian, stupid looking Faunus.

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Eventually her tears ran dry, she could cry no more. Raziel still whaled into her pillow. Her life had come down to this. Here she was curled up in a sobbing mess. Would she ever recover from this mess? Would she be a weak little girl for the rest of her life? The thought terrified her. No! No No! NO! She would never be weak, never! Raziel's sobs died off, replaced instead by a cry of pure and absolute rage. In one swift motion she tore the pillow she was holding in half, its stuffing flying out. Quickly Raziel scanned the room for something else to break. The first thing she saw was the dresser near her bed. She stood approached it and began to rip out the drawers tossing their contents across the room. Her next target was a plush orange fox known as Mr. Grey. She picked up the plush and tore off its tails, followed by the things head.


Raziel froze, Mr. Grey dead in her hands. She had just murdered Mr. Grey, someone she cared about. Her hands fell to her sides dropping his pieces to the floor as she turned for a nearby mirror. She stared into it. What she saw was her own face, but it was not her. That was the face of someone who would hurt those they care about. She screamed and jumped back from the mirror. On the ground she crawled for the closet. Inside she shut the door and curled back up again. This time she did not sob, instead she pulled at her own hair until it hurt and began to rock back and forth.

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There in that closest rocking back and forth Raziel sat for what seemed like an eternity. However at some point she must have fallen asleep. She stood in the cold mountains of Atlas with Julyet. It was the middle of a harsh winter and here they were going to stay for a month in a remote cabin. Raziel had just been rejected by the boy she admired and was sure she was in love with. Julyet decided that they needed to get away from everything, or perhaps that Raziel needed to get away.

She was angry and sad and so many other things, but his far out from the world it didn't seem to matter. The world and its problems were somewhere else. And as long as Julyet was there everything was going to be fine.


Raziel snapped out of her dream in an instant. She was still in the closet and in her hands she held to large clumps of slightly bloodied hair. She sat up and felt her head. Surely enough she had been bleeding from where she had no doubt ripped out some of her own hair. It was mostly hardened by now and made her hair stick together.

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She opened the door and left the small closet back into her room. It was late evening by now, and the sun was beginning to go down. The first Thing Raziel did was pick up the pieces of Mr. Gray and place them on her bed. Then she headed for the bathroom inside she washed out her hair of the dried blood and did what she could to help the wound. She refused to look in the mirror for fear of the monster she would see staring back at her. Once she did what she could she exited the bathroom and back to her dorm.

There she went for the window and sat in the frame looking out over the academy. She still wasn't completely sure how she felt about everything. She knew that she liked Jessica, she knew that she was falling for another girl, she knew that both of those facts scared her, but now... now she was not afraid to go try. Part of her still told her that she was going to get hurt. Especially considering that Jess would most probably think that Raziel was just some weird lesbian when she told her how she felt, but that part of her was losing. It remained, but it was dwindling.

To take her mind off of things she decided to do something she hadn't done in years. Looking out over the setting sun, she began to sing.


“Summer in the hills, those hazy days I do remember♪ We were running still, had the whole world at our feet♪ Watching seasons change, our roads were lined with adventure, mountains in the way didn't keep us from the sea♪ Here we stand open arms, this is home where we are, ever strong in the world that we made♪ I still hear you in the breeze, see your shadows in the trees, holding on memories never change♪”


(done)

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