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Naria Moss(complete)

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1 Naria Moss(complete) on Wed May 11, 2016 11:11 pm

Enrollment Form

Basic info
Name: Naria Moss
Age: 19
Birthday: Jan. 28
Gender: Female
Race: human
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 140
Face Claim: see beginning of post.

STR: 2
DEF: 3
RES: 3
SPT: 4
Aura 200|100 HP

Major: Dust
Likes: animals of any sort, being outside, science, tea, sweets, and books
Dislikes: being stuck in one place, hypocrites, coffee,
Fears: heights, making mistakes, losing the ability to fight.
Overall Personality: Naria is a very stubborn and strong willed character. Though she tends to stay in the background during fights and disagreements don't mistake it for timidness. It just means she's listening to what's going on and thinking of the best way to move forward. Plus due to being born with osteogenesis imperfecta being in any sort of hand to hand combat tends to end in busted limbs so she's learned to hold her tongue and hang back until things cool down. In a fight though she's an excellent shot sniping at opponents at a distance while her teammates finish them off.

Aura type: Defense
Aura Color: purple
Semblance: Retaliation. When hit with a physical attack the shield it generates will deflect blows.
Item 1: Dark brown compound bow
Item 2: earth dust

History and Sample
Naria started out as a normal child. The eldest daughter to a craftman and his wife living on a farm in Mistral that one day hoped to follow in the footsteps of her grandmother and continue the legacy she started before being forced to retire from being a huntsman herself.

Growing up she seemed to always be sporting some sort of injury but no one ever thought much about it other than she was a hyper kid that played a bit to rough and got in over her head a lot. That is until a trip to a specialist revealed she had been born with osteogenesis imperfecta, a genetic disorder that caused her bones to be weaker and porous like those of a bird's.

At first she and her family were devastated at the news, but the more people kept telling her no and handling her like glass the more determined she was to continue to reach for her goals. Spending long hours on her scroll looking up techniques and weapons that would allow her to fight with minimal strain and eventually unlocking her aura which gave her more of a normal defense when active.

Despite her parents continued objections to the whole thing she was eventually excepted into Haven where her training really took off. Sure it was hard and grades weren't the best, and more than once she felt like a burden to her team, but it she was no stranger to hard work and it all k payed off in the end when she got her letter saying she had been excepted into Syne academy. Now one step closer to her life long dream Naria set off to begin a new life in a new school, and hopefully kick some grimm tail while she was at it.
RP Sample:
Naria stepped off the transport into the bright morning sun. "This is it Syne academy." She looked up in awe at the massive building before her effectively tuning out the many other students that were moving and shoving past her on their way out of the bullhead. Once the throng of new students and passed she took a deep breath as she adjusted her bow and quiver to a more comfortable position on her shoulders.

The moment was quickly ruined though by a sudden and very loud ringing coming from her pocket that managed to scare her a bit more than she'd like to admit. She fumbled around a bit to get it out of her pocket her expression changing to one of annoyance when she saw who it was for about the fifth time in the last hour. "Hello? Oh hey dad. Yeah I just got here." She started walking toward the school behind the other new arrivals. "Yes the trip went fine look I'm going to have to call you back so I can find my way around. Yeah love you to, bye." She turned her scroll off with a long sigh. Sure she loved her parents but protective wasn't strong enough a word for how they got at times.

Last edited by Wycca on Sat May 14, 2016 7:09 pm; edited 4 times in total

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2 Re: Naria Moss(complete) on Fri May 13, 2016 12:54 pm

Made a few small changes so bump.

Also wth autocorrect human and faunus are not the same thing.

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3 Re: Naria Moss(complete) on Fri May 13, 2016 1:17 pm

Richard Lionheart
Alright ^^ this is a good app but there are a few problems. First is that you do need an FC. You have talked about a "First image" but I'm not seeing it. Please add an FC, if you can't find it's source that's fine ^^

Second is the semblance, I could use some more explanation on how it works. I think I have a rough idea of what you're saying, however defense against attacks is 20 aura and it works as defense against all attacks. Dust or physical. It reduces damage of any type by 20 for 20 aura.

Third is that, with your dust tipped arrows, while you are free to do that with your dust. You only start with ten uses of one of the level one elements (water, earth, fire, wind) and dust is a consumable. Once those ten uses are used up you will need to buy more for lien from the shop, though by taking it now you can buy any of the level one elements from the shop. Please put your choice of dust in the app in place of the "Dust tipped arrows." Bump when done ^^

"Call me short and your life'll get a whole lot shorter."
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4 Re: Naria Moss(complete) on Fri May 13, 2016 1:25 pm

That's what I get for copy pasting on a tablet. Darn thing didn't paste it all. Anyway bump

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5 Re: Naria Moss(complete) on Fri May 13, 2016 2:06 pm

Bit more editing bump

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6 Re: Naria Moss(complete) on Fri May 13, 2016 2:38 pm

Another edit bump

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7 Re: Naria Moss(complete) on Sat May 14, 2016 1:14 pm

Next day bump.

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8 Re: Naria Moss(complete) on Sat May 14, 2016 2:25 pm

Richard Lionheart
Alright, so you have to put the FC you will keep until you pay for the FC changing item up. Not a placeholder that you can change at will. Just the wording in the FC segment implies that is all ^^ The picture you have up now is fine as an FC ^^

Also, wording on the semblance, the phrasing is still a little off. It'd be that she can generate a shield to deflect blows, not the opponent's own attack as it is worded now. Bump when done ^^

"Call me short and your life'll get a whole lot shorter."
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9 Re: Naria Moss(complete) on Sat May 14, 2016 7:10 pm

Edit bump

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10 Re: Naria Moss(complete) on Mon May 16, 2016 9:05 pm

All of the bumps

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11 Re: Naria Moss(complete) on Sat Mar 11, 2017 6:12 am

Hey there Wycca, I'm so sorry your app sat around for this long. I guess Rich got really busy, but no matter, as this new mod is here to help! You app is pretty much done, I really only needs a couple changes.

Similar to Rich, I'm a bit confused on what your semblance does. Does it reduce the damage you take for a hit, but only when you get struck and not prior, therefore being more of a reaction to an attack than a barrier or shield you put up ahead of time? If so, please just word it a bit better, I apologize for the lack of understanding here.

Only other this is, we have skills now! You must pick a single skill they excel at and a single skill they don't do so well. This current list can be found here, but for future reference it is the topic titled 'Skill List' in the 'Rules and Information' section.

Other than that, you are ready to go, just as soon as those changes are made.

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