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Nobody's Perfect. [Solo]

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1 Nobody's Perfect. [Solo] on Sun Jun 18, 2017 9:30 pm

This topic may be disturbing so some people, but this following topic is something AIkomi goes through regularly, and that I also go through regularly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Part 1: Uprising~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a normal night, and Aikomi lay in bed in her typical, and pink, pajamas. She'd brushed her teeth, washed her face, all of the like. It was just... Normal.
The synthetic lay there, her limbs spread across the matress, her body simply flopped over top of the blanket, not actually under it. She reached her right hand up, curling a strand or two of her snowy white hair around a finger. How exciting, this place was. How did she get here? Why was she here? How did what she used to live like turn into this?
"Used to live like"?
She didn't know what that thought meant, but as it echoed around her mind a disturbed look began to creep onto her face.

A sharp intake of breath and Aiko was pushing her back against the headboard of her bed, as well as the wall. She looked around slowly, eyes wide, before her short sporadic breathing grew into a faint, whispering giggle. Her hands came off of the pillow and softly placed themselves to the girl's face, before their grip tightened and she began to do what was essentially a frantic clawing of her face. The corners of her mouth twitched in contempt- contempt directed at what? She hunched her back over, now leaning forward and curling into a ball in a semi-upright sitting position.

A lightness in her heart, a sharp yet soft pain in her chest, an absence of life in her blank eyes as she stared at the fingers partially obscuring her view. Her mouth opened enough to reveal a small grin, and she could feel her saliva pushing up aganst the backs of her teeth, leaking through the cracks, dropping onto her palms.

A few seconds more and she dropped, going from upright fetal position to face down on the bed, also in the fetal position. Her whispery giggles turned into hissing laughs.
No, not everybody was perfect, but some were certainly less so than others. That much was for sure.

She wanted to cry; A small, minute feeling, but she still wanted to cry.

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2 Re: Nobody's Perfect. [Solo] on Mon Jun 19, 2017 6:09 pm

~~~~~~~~~~~~Part 2: Calm Before the Storm~~~~~~~~~~~~

The girl wrapped her arms around her chest, arching her back outwards and balancing on her knees and forehead. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tightly gripped her sides in an attempt to stop the inevitable progression of this state. She could feel her nails digging into her sides, drawing artificial blood, her aura refusing to come up as soon as she is promised pain. The masochism, the schizophrenia, everything. She was too weak to fight it all off.
Her hands ripped themselves from her sides and left thin cuts in her skin, nothing she couldn't heal in the morning. She half-collapsed onto her side, crumpling onto her left arm and feeling her hands move oddly.
It was too late now.

Aikomi's eyes widened in a crazed, manic stare as her right hand smashed into the bed beside her, and soon after began twitching along with her left. The limb just... Didn't work how she wanted it to. It flexed, twitching around sporadically. It looked like her arms had been electrocuted with how they shook. At first it was just that: her arms shook; But then the rest of her body began to follow and Aiko was soon writhing spasmodically on the bed, giggling like a madman. A few seconds of this and she was on her left hand and her knees, with her right arm curled into her body from a gradual, shaky rise. She looked up, up, up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of her thought process whilst her ability to do so was deteriorating. Her mouth opened wide, indicating she was trying to let out some kind of scream, twitching and changing size as she let out a silent cry of agony, of pain, of complete and utter helplessness. Her eyes were still wide, scared looking, searching for help of any kind, but then her face froze.

Her features relaxed, her pupils dilating and her eyes turning soft. Her mouth slowly transitioned into an open-mouthed smile. She looked... "Happy", but all she was feeling was the relief of giving in; Giving in to the insanity.
She once more keeled over, collapsing onto her side, rolling onto her back with her arms splayed out to the sides. Her body was limp, relaxed, lifeless, as she stared up at the ceiling with a face devoid of expression, of emotion. Her eyes stung, tears forming but not falling, just staying there, idly, tormenting her. Aikomi's vision was blurred, and soon it was shaking too, as if there was an earthquake. Shapes mixed together as her breaths were racked with giggles and her body ever so slightly pushed upwards with each one. Everything looked like some form of twisted abstract art thrown together by a mildly insane toddler trying to paint a picture of a dog.

She wanted to cry; a painful, overwhelming need, but she just couldn't force the tears out.

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3 Re: Nobody's Perfect. [Solo] on Tue Jun 20, 2017 2:30 pm

~~~~~~~~~~~~Part 3: End of the Beginning~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was... Relaxed, now. It seemed like everything was finally over, she could relax, she could sleep. Of course, Aikomi knew better. She had suffered upwards of seventy fits of this caliber before. That wasn't including the two hundred or so mid-scale fits, and the small-scale fits that entailed her briefly spasming, only for a second, that were as of now in the thousands.
She was used to it, all of it, but that didn't make it any easier enduring her own miniature Hell on Remnant.
Her giggling stopped, the not-so-gentle rise and fall of her chest ceasing to exist. The calm facade she played, the false hope of beating her mind, it all burned her. The realization she had every single time she twitched, spasmed, giggled insanely, every time she killed, that she could never beat her mind hurt her. It hurt her, it annoyed her, and it confused her. Why could she, a synthetic human, a robot, not overcome such faults? What a cruel, uncaring world this really was. Not even man's creations could escape their creator's faults, their burdens.

This was what went through her mind as she lay there, her vision blurred, eyes shaking, body limp. Soon it would start up again, and she would be helpless to stop it. That's when she heard a thud outside of her dorm room door. Someone had tripped and fallen, smacking their face into the floor, but with her door closed all Aikomi heard was a dull smash. That's all she needed to hear, as she was now in alert mode. Her body was gripped by fear, but it didn't take much for her to break free, shoot up, and lunge at her pillow. She wasted no time gripping the brim of her blanket and throwing it into the air, sliding under and curling into a tight ball. She felt the blanket rest softly over her form as she buried her face into her hands, and at last she felt tears fall.

Her body ever so slightly twitched, shaking in mixed fear and mania. She gritted her teeth together, letting out a quiet hiss- one racked with gentle sobs. Her cat ears were splayed out to the sides, flattened against her head, while her tail was curled up into a spiral. Every few seconds she would hear a thump resonate throughout her living space, one that battered her brain with waves of sound. Any little thing, any little noise, everything scared her. She lifted her face from her palms, tucking her legs into her chest even tighter as she lay on her side in the fetal position once more. It was pitch black under the cover of her blanket, but even still her eyes widened, pupils contracting, leaving tiny dots in a vast expanse of white.
Fear. That was all that she could feel.

Fear of what, exactly? Nothing. She just lay under her blanket curled up into a ball with her eyes wide and a manic grin on her face.
She wanted to cry; a horrible, unbeatable need, and she finally did.

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4 Re: Nobody's Perfect. [Solo] on Sun Jul 02, 2017 12:37 am

~~~~~~~~~~~~Part 4: The Fall~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eventually, it was just too much and the poor girl passed out helplessly. She didn't dream.
The only thing she saw was a swirling abyss of black, slowly advancing towards her, through her, engulfing her. That was when she woke up.
She froze in her slightly asleep daze, noticing she was no longer covered by blankets.
The tiny black figures dashed from her vision to hide in the shadows where she could not see them any more.
Aikomi's eyes widened in pure horror as she saw a figure shambling towards her, moving with a slow, lopping gait and letting out a whisper. These whispers pierced her ears and shook her head, whispers of sins she had comitted, of the people she had killed.
She had never killed anybody!
Had she?
The... Thing walking towards her was certainly dead... Skin was peeling off of it's face, it's jaw was broken, shattered beyond repair. It was missing an arm and it's left leg was snapped, dragged limply behind the creature. Had she... Had she done this to the humans? Is this why she couldn't remember anything? Is this why she was so stupid? Had she made herself forget, or worse?

Had she cared about them in the first place?

More figures began appearing, some with no heads, popped out eyes, some with blood pouring out of them. Some looked like cheese with how many bullet holes they had... She had done this, she had absolutely done this, but why couldn't she remember?
Names, names, names, they flowed in and out of her ears, too garbled and distorted by the chorus of wails and moans to be able to make out. She was insane, that much was for sure.
She curled up in a ball, covering her ears, scratching her face, crying, crying, crying, scratching, crying, and spasming. Everything was wrong, everything was bad.

Her schizophrenic delusions were already gone, but she had gone mad trying to remember who they were, driven to a point of utter insanity. She rolled side to side, kicking her feet, clawing at her face and laughing hysterically. Her eyes were wide, scared, yet euphoric all at the same time. She threw spittle from her mouth with every few laughs, tears streaming down her face, her laughs gurgling as she tried to cry instead but couldn't anymore. Everything was just too funny to her now.

Of course, it wasn't really funny, she just couldn't stop laughing.

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